Dr. Rabie raised two daughters with a hands-on approach. She experienced family life, separation and divorce fist hand. Her unique, innovative thoughts about personality and child development represent a combination of her education with her practical experience.
Dr. Vera Rabie-Azoory's book, titled
They Love You, They Love Me Not: The Truth About the Family Favourite and Sibling Rivalry was first published by HarperCollins Canada in 1995. It remains the most valid current reference text in psychology about child development and family dynamics. A review of Dr. Rabie's theory and opinions on
sibling rivalry and
family life can be accessed through
www.MedicineNet.com. An American equivalent of the book was published by Barricade Books, New York 1999, under the title
Sibling Rivalry, The Truth About the Family Favorite, and a Portuguese edition was published in 2000 by Editoriales Paulinas under the title:
Eles Amam Voce, Eles Nao Me Amam: A Verdade Sobre O Favoritismo Familiar e a Rivalidade Entre Irmaos.
Dr. Vera Rabie's Views
Think of the women you know who are famous for making a major discovery. You will note that there are very few women throughout history who are known for their contribution to science. Are women not capable of innovation, or is there social bias and resistance to accepting their ideas?
Besides the sexist issue, it is well known that there are scientific wars of espionage, in which scientists attempt to steal ideas from each other for monetary gain, fame and immortality. A prominent example took place when Rosalind Franklin, a dedicated female scientist amassed the critical data toward the discovery of DNA, but unfortunately died. That data was later collected from her laboratory, and credited to two male scientists, James Watson and Francis Crick, who won a Nobel Prize in 1962.
In Freud's time, persistence and social aggression proved to be the main determinants of who won the race. As a master of both the spoken and written word, Freud cleverly shut out his opponents, Carl Jung and Alfred Adler, and promoted his own saga about psychosexual stages. He went on to weave a convoluted web of interpretations about human thought and behavior that took a full century to put aside.
Nowadays as Marshall McLuhan stated "the medium is the message", meaning that self-promotion, advertising and prominence in the public eye through media such as TV, radio or internet count most. Therefore, rather than document her ideas in a second book, which is a perishable medium, Dr. Rabie chose to release this portion of her work through the internet.
Consider this evaluation of our current state of knowledge. Assuming that 100% knowledge or Total Knowledge about the world around us is possible, who can we say possesses Total Knowledge, knowing everything there is to know about life? At present we can only attribute 100% knowledge to a higher power. So we should ask: What is the proportion of Total Knowledge that we do possess? A liberal estimate would be about 5%, while a conservative one might go as low as 1%, or even less. Still, to admit that at least 95% of Total Knowledge now eludes us is certainly a humbling thought!
Against this backdrop, how can we rank our knowledge about human behavior? Think of the portion of the population that is institutionalized due to maladjustment, mental illness or criminal behavior. Add to this the people who suffer in silence: those who are Anxious or Depressed, those who drink, smoke, overeat or abuse drugs, those who need Anger management, are hyperactive or phobic, etc., and the total quickly climbs to 50% and beyond!
Parenting With Design
When you join the Parenting With Design group you will discover new cutting edge knowledge about psychology, much like the innovations that are made in technology today. As with anything new, try to stay calm and trusting at the outset, and be prepared to change your way of thinking about yourself and those around you. Don’t be too skeptical or critical of what you read here, as you are sure to find the Parenting With Design theory quite foreign at first. Play with the concepts of Favor and Disfavor, of Prime love and Auxiliary love. Apply them to people you know well. Start with your own family, your parents’ and grandparents’ families, cousins, close friends, and so on. You will soon begin to see a pattern emerging.
Once you fully understand the method, your perceptions and emotions will be clarified. In your mind you will automatically begin to do your own analysis of yourself and others. Do you have a Favored or Disfavored personality? Who was your Prime Love Giver and who was your Auxiliary parent? By understanding human motivation through the modality of Sibling Rivalry and Favoritism, and following the Parenting With Design method, you will slowly gain astounding new insights into the workings of the human mind and all of human behavior, from the most common to the most bizarre.
Dr. Vera Rabie
